My New Cooking Show
I know it is hard to believe that there is anything else I'm capable of besides looking cute. But did you know I can cook? It's true, I may have learned to hate it because the kids and wife don't like anything that has any kind of flavor or heat, but yeah I can cook, and when I do for some reason I'm usually angry and it's cathartic. So it's not the kind of cooking my friends do to relax, but rather this in your face improvisational spontaneous in your face kind of cooking, usually Italian and angry. That is why my new show will be called:

Abbondanza Motherfuckers!

Here is the first recipe, I call it Cheesy Spinach Surprise...

First take some pre-made Spinach Tortellini (you don't deserve my homemade tortellini!) and pour the innocent little pasta piece screaming into a boiling pot of water.



Then take frozen spinach, (cold as her heart damn her!) and heat it in the microwave (burn baby burn!). Meanwhile make some cheddar cheese sauce, by putting a block of cheese in a sauce pan and melting it WAIT! that's not good enough for you, it's Campbell's canned cheddar cheese sauce for you!!!

Now shakedown some parmesan cheese into the salt, then drop some garlic salt, then onion powder, then red pepper and Tabasco sauce (our sponsor, an angrier spice you cannot find) and stir it in to the melting cheese. Once the microwave spinach is done, pour in the cheese and beat the spinach into submission like you would a recalcitrant egg.



Pour the sauce over the tortellini and eat your misery away



Abbondanza Motherfucker!